Often, when we are compulsive eaters, we feel that food is the only area of our lives we have control over. The rest of our life may seem to be dictated by outside circumstance and we feel powerless to do anything to change any area of our life we wish to change.
Sometimes we might feel that if we could only be slimmer then everything else in our lives will fall into place. We feel that if we were slimmer, then my spouse would be more attentive, my parents would acknowledge me, or praise me, or listen to me. We often feel a lot is dependant upon getting slim. Maybe we have even become slim through dieting, only to find that those self same problems have not miraculously disappeared due to our new slimmer body size, and so we then binge and the weight is quickly regained.
This is one of the reasons weight is so often regained. If we do not make 'resolving our emotional stuff' one of the key elements, in our weight loss program, then the weight loss is destined to be short lived. This is why 'resolving emotional stuff' is foremost in our minds as we employ the True Slimness method of weight loss. 'Resolving our emotional stuff' is one of the major guidelines in this weight loss method, that does indeed, achieve, true, and lasting slimness.
So ask yourself 'What would I like to do in my life?' Think big. think unlimited. Ask yourself 'What would I do if I had an infinite amount of money, time and resources?' Daydream, and then write down a few ideas as to what could be the next step for you to take in that direction. Ignore the dismissive part of yourself that harps on at you 'No, no, no, it can't be done.' The truth is it can be done with self-effort, with believing it can be done, and doing what it takes to do it - 'It' being - that which you desire.
Now decide what you desire, start to listen to your heart-felt desires! Ask yourself 'How do I accomplish that which I desire?' rather than dismissing it as impossible.
You will be very surprised at the doors that open when you identify that which you really feel enthusiastic about, and go about following that joy. Even if it is just reading a book on the subject, speaking to an expert in that field of your interest, or attending a class on your much loved subject, or looking on the Internet about that field of interest. That is good enough to start you on a road of following your enthusiasm. Seek it, find it, follow it - your joy, your interests, your passion.
Believe it or not, it is all part and parcel, of achieving true and lasting slimness.
xSofia
Saturday, 17 April 2010
Saturday, 3 April 2010
Crafting the life you wish for
I love this idea of self-acceptance being our starting point for altering or changing the self into something more in harmony with our ideas of who we would like to be.
It is like a sculptor creating a statue. He chips away the pieces he no longer wants in order to craft the statue, that is now, only in his mind's eye - his imagination. So ask yourself what is in your mind, as the ideas about who you would like to be?
Do you see the difference? I am not talking about a list of 'What I should be.' That would go like 'I should be slimmer. I should be richer. I should be a person with a great relationship.' No, this, that I am talking about here, is a lot more fun, than a list of heavy, boring, 'beat me up, I'm not good enough, 'shoulds.''Okay!
What I am talking about here, is a pondering, gentle, 'I'm working on crafting and moulding and sculpting myself and my life' type of attitude and endeavour. You see the difference. The difference is gentleness and quiet strength in the conviction that you are going to do this anyway. Regardless that you do not have the strength, regardless that you feel you do not have what it takes, because if you simply take it step by step, guess what, you do have what it takes because you have the power to take the first step just as surely as you can take your next breath.You have the power to take the next step in crafting, moulding and sculpting your life into that which you desire. Not in one fell swoop, although that could happen, but more likely, in many, many small steps. And the first step is accepting yourself just as you are now - a person who eats when full maybe some of the time, maybe all of the time. Also you are a person who is learning how to stop when full. You are probably a person who can stop when full some of the time and it is that all important 'some of the time' that is even now building into you being a person who stops when full all of the time. The result - a slim you.
So fill in that list of what you would like your life to be like health-wise, career-wise, relationship- wise, friendship-wise, hobby -wise, free time-wise and financially-wise. And daydream about it. As a friend of mine used to say 'There is no tax on dreaming.' Dream big and have fun. Be positive and deal with any negative thoughts or images that come up to disconcert you, by using the free 'Judge your Neighbour and One Belief at a time.' downloads from www.thework.com or www.byronkatie .com.
Hope you found this inspirational have a resurrection of wonder this Easter time and have now wonderful small steps in your life this Easter time and remember to always ask, whenever you think about food or eating ' Am I hungry?' 'Am I genuinely physically hungry?' and If you crave to eat when full ask, 'What feeling is this?' and then 'Given the fact I feel this way, what would I like to do now?' And get busy doing it!
All is well, take a small step today, be gentle and self-accepting of yourself any perceived faults, cut yourself some slack allow yourself to be imperfect and know you can mould, shape and sculpt yourself and your life into that which you desire in small steps.
'Am I hungry ? Am I hungry? Am I hungry' your new mantra when you want to eat, along with.'What feeling is this ?' when you crave food when full. These, the small steps that bring true and lasting slimness.
x Sofia
It is like a sculptor creating a statue. He chips away the pieces he no longer wants in order to craft the statue, that is now, only in his mind's eye - his imagination. So ask yourself what is in your mind, as the ideas about who you would like to be?
Do you see the difference? I am not talking about a list of 'What I should be.' That would go like 'I should be slimmer. I should be richer. I should be a person with a great relationship.' No, this, that I am talking about here, is a lot more fun, than a list of heavy, boring, 'beat me up, I'm not good enough, 'shoulds.''Okay!
What I am talking about here, is a pondering, gentle, 'I'm working on crafting and moulding and sculpting myself and my life' type of attitude and endeavour. You see the difference. The difference is gentleness and quiet strength in the conviction that you are going to do this anyway. Regardless that you do not have the strength, regardless that you feel you do not have what it takes, because if you simply take it step by step, guess what, you do have what it takes because you have the power to take the first step just as surely as you can take your next breath.You have the power to take the next step in crafting, moulding and sculpting your life into that which you desire. Not in one fell swoop, although that could happen, but more likely, in many, many small steps. And the first step is accepting yourself just as you are now - a person who eats when full maybe some of the time, maybe all of the time. Also you are a person who is learning how to stop when full. You are probably a person who can stop when full some of the time and it is that all important 'some of the time' that is even now building into you being a person who stops when full all of the time. The result - a slim you.
So fill in that list of what you would like your life to be like health-wise, career-wise, relationship- wise, friendship-wise, hobby -wise, free time-wise and financially-wise. And daydream about it. As a friend of mine used to say 'There is no tax on dreaming.' Dream big and have fun. Be positive and deal with any negative thoughts or images that come up to disconcert you, by using the free 'Judge your Neighbour and One Belief at a time.' downloads from www.thework.com or www.byronkatie .com.
Hope you found this inspirational have a resurrection of wonder this Easter time and have now wonderful small steps in your life this Easter time and remember to always ask, whenever you think about food or eating ' Am I hungry?' 'Am I genuinely physically hungry?' and If you crave to eat when full ask, 'What feeling is this?' and then 'Given the fact I feel this way, what would I like to do now?' And get busy doing it!
All is well, take a small step today, be gentle and self-accepting of yourself any perceived faults, cut yourself some slack allow yourself to be imperfect and know you can mould, shape and sculpt yourself and your life into that which you desire in small steps.
'Am I hungry ? Am I hungry? Am I hungry' your new mantra when you want to eat, along with.'What feeling is this ?' when you crave food when full. These, the small steps that bring true and lasting slimness.
x Sofia
Thursday, 1 April 2010
Let's get clear about self-acceptance. It is not about simply resigning to how things are. It is not about staying the same. It is very much about change, change , change!
Self-acceptance, contrary to popular belief, actually facilitates change. Self-acceptance actually gives us our accurate starting point. It is simply saying - This is where I am, I am this weight and I have these eating habits I would like to change.
And here is the key - Self-acceptance says this without judgement. This lack of criticism about how things are, actively facilitates change. Beating yourself up, again, contrary to popular belief, does not help you change - it helps you feel miserable about yourself rather than understanding, and compassionate about yourself.
You are human, you picked up some bad eating habits that got ingrained and you were powerless to alter and change them - that is nothing to beat yourself up about - that is something to be understanding about, and simply work on in a new way.
Okay, so all the ways you have tried up till now have not helped you change those ingrained habits, that does not make you 'bad' it simply means you have not found a way that works yet. That is all. Remind yourself of this when you feel like giving out to yourself over a binge or your size and shape. And come back to the 'Am I Hungry?' download Free from www.trueslimness.co.uk and try again. Discover slimness is within your reach and self-acceptance, not self-criticism, helps you move forward with the task at hand - altering and changing your eating patterns from someone who 'eats when full' to someone who' stops when full' 100% of the time. I know you can do it - Freedom from compulsive eating awaits you.
Bye for now,
x Sofia
Self-acceptance, contrary to popular belief, actually facilitates change. Self-acceptance actually gives us our accurate starting point. It is simply saying - This is where I am, I am this weight and I have these eating habits I would like to change.
And here is the key - Self-acceptance says this without judgement. This lack of criticism about how things are, actively facilitates change. Beating yourself up, again, contrary to popular belief, does not help you change - it helps you feel miserable about yourself rather than understanding, and compassionate about yourself.
You are human, you picked up some bad eating habits that got ingrained and you were powerless to alter and change them - that is nothing to beat yourself up about - that is something to be understanding about, and simply work on in a new way.
Okay, so all the ways you have tried up till now have not helped you change those ingrained habits, that does not make you 'bad' it simply means you have not found a way that works yet. That is all. Remind yourself of this when you feel like giving out to yourself over a binge or your size and shape. And come back to the 'Am I Hungry?' download Free from www.trueslimness.co.uk and try again. Discover slimness is within your reach and self-acceptance, not self-criticism, helps you move forward with the task at hand - altering and changing your eating patterns from someone who 'eats when full' to someone who' stops when full' 100% of the time. I know you can do it - Freedom from compulsive eating awaits you.
Bye for now,
x Sofia
Saturday, 13 March 2010
Binge trigger feelings
I've come up with a new phrase that totally sums up our power point in overcoming compulsive eating and getting slim for good, and it is this - 'the binge trigger feeling'. Now this phrase 'binge trigger feeling' is key, because there is a 'binge trigger feeling' behind every craving to binge. The 'binge trigger feeling' can be different for every binge or you can repeatedly get the same 'binge trigger feeling' again and again until it is really resolved.
The 'binge trigger feeling' can literally send us to the biscuit tin, or the fridge when we are already full.
It is the uncomfortable feeling that can trigger a binge. So once we are aware of the 'binge trigger feelings' we can side-track the binge. It takes practice but can be done. It is changing a habit but can be done. This is not so much about will power as it is about understanding - understanding that every time, we do, even a little bit of eating when physically full, we are dealing with a feeling, a feeling we most likely would rather not feel, we consciously or subconsciously want to suppress it. And, eating when full, does this for us. Eating when full suppresses feelings. Once we understand this dynamic, we are half way home, all we need to do now, is catch ourselves, as it were, when we are feeling those 'binge trigger feelings', and we know it's a binge trigger feeling for we will be feeling the urge to eat when full.
And so, the key question to ask is 'What feeling is this?' when these feelings and the urge to binge arises.
'What feeling is this?' cuts through to the heart of the matter and takes our attention off the binge and on to the culprit of weight gain - the binge trigger feelings and then when we ask ourselves - 'Given the fact I feel this way what would I like to do now?' - we are well on the way to giving up the binges and bringing into our lives the alternative to the binge.
For more on this check out my two e-books which can be bought from Lulu
Guidelines for Healing Your Eating Habit by Sofia Bothwell
And True Slimness Simply Full by Sofia Bothwell
The 'binge trigger feeling' can literally send us to the biscuit tin, or the fridge when we are already full.
It is the uncomfortable feeling that can trigger a binge. So once we are aware of the 'binge trigger feelings' we can side-track the binge. It takes practice but can be done. It is changing a habit but can be done. This is not so much about will power as it is about understanding - understanding that every time, we do, even a little bit of eating when physically full, we are dealing with a feeling, a feeling we most likely would rather not feel, we consciously or subconsciously want to suppress it. And, eating when full, does this for us. Eating when full suppresses feelings. Once we understand this dynamic, we are half way home, all we need to do now, is catch ourselves, as it were, when we are feeling those 'binge trigger feelings', and we know it's a binge trigger feeling for we will be feeling the urge to eat when full.
And so, the key question to ask is 'What feeling is this?' when these feelings and the urge to binge arises.
'What feeling is this?' cuts through to the heart of the matter and takes our attention off the binge and on to the culprit of weight gain - the binge trigger feelings and then when we ask ourselves - 'Given the fact I feel this way what would I like to do now?' - we are well on the way to giving up the binges and bringing into our lives the alternative to the binge.
For more on this check out my two e-books which can be bought from Lulu
Guidelines for Healing Your Eating Habit by Sofia Bothwell
And True Slimness Simply Full by Sofia Bothwell
Sunday, 21 February 2010
How to be content regardless
We binge because of unmet needs and unresolved emotional issues.
We smoke because of unmet needs and unresolved emotional issues.
We partake in addiction because of unmet needs and unresolved emotional issues.
We overwork, overspend stay in abusive relationships, because of unmet needs and unresolved emotional issues.
We drink, gamble, watch stuff on TV that we are not really interested in because of unmet needs and unresolved emotional issues.
So we see, the 'eating when full', the smoking, the partaking in addiction is one problem, but there is also another problem - the unmet needs and the unresolved emotional issues. These are the root problems if you like, the real cause. In being able to deal with unmet needs we free ourselves from addiction. How do we deal with an unmet need? Well ask yourself, any time you pinpoint a need - such as the need for a lover, a car, freedom from domineering parents or spouse, a house, a career, more money , slimness etc. And ask 'How can I be happy even without this in my life? Yes Ask yourself - How can I feel good now, without partaking in my addiction? This is a good question to ask yourself and have fun playing around with the answers you get.
For the ultimate truth is we can be content even without the house, the car, the lover, the money, the career and also without addiction to buffer the uncomfortable emotions associated with not having the object of our desire. When we can find the key to happiness regardless, then we have the opportunity of an open door and a way forward will present itself to us. What we desire will show up more easily and we will be able to accept it more easily, for we are no longer coming from a needy place but from a place of fullness.
There is always something we need, and to learn how to be content, happy and okay in the space we are now, before that which we need shows up, is an art in life, in fact it is the art of happiness, positive manifestation and deeply meaningful and authentic living. Not always easy, but what the hey.
x Sofia
We smoke because of unmet needs and unresolved emotional issues.
We partake in addiction because of unmet needs and unresolved emotional issues.
We overwork, overspend stay in abusive relationships, because of unmet needs and unresolved emotional issues.
We drink, gamble, watch stuff on TV that we are not really interested in because of unmet needs and unresolved emotional issues.
So we see, the 'eating when full', the smoking, the partaking in addiction is one problem, but there is also another problem - the unmet needs and the unresolved emotional issues. These are the root problems if you like, the real cause. In being able to deal with unmet needs we free ourselves from addiction. How do we deal with an unmet need? Well ask yourself, any time you pinpoint a need - such as the need for a lover, a car, freedom from domineering parents or spouse, a house, a career, more money , slimness etc. And ask 'How can I be happy even without this in my life? Yes Ask yourself - How can I feel good now, without partaking in my addiction? This is a good question to ask yourself and have fun playing around with the answers you get.
For the ultimate truth is we can be content even without the house, the car, the lover, the money, the career and also without addiction to buffer the uncomfortable emotions associated with not having the object of our desire. When we can find the key to happiness regardless, then we have the opportunity of an open door and a way forward will present itself to us. What we desire will show up more easily and we will be able to accept it more easily, for we are no longer coming from a needy place but from a place of fullness.
There is always something we need, and to learn how to be content, happy and okay in the space we are now, before that which we need shows up, is an art in life, in fact it is the art of happiness, positive manifestation and deeply meaningful and authentic living. Not always easy, but what the hey.
x Sofia
Sunday, 14 February 2010
Stopping when pysically full and creativity
I now let being physically hungry be my guide as to when I eat.
I now let being physically full be my guide as to when I stop eating.
As we move away from eating when full, smoking or any other addictions we naturally have a tendency to become more creative, and that seems to go hand in hand with being more intuitive. For your intuition will always lead you to increased creativity, and that is truly wonderful for what is created out of intuitive leanings and a joyful pull, are activities, projects and relationships that are fulfilling. We can move away from suppressing our feelings by eating when full to feeling our feelings and following our joyful feelings - they lead us to involve ourselves in activities that we enjoy and are naturally good at and will bless others for they are part and parcel of a joyful interconnectedness of gifts. It has been said that following what you love, involving yourself in what you love brings you into contact with your genius capabilities. Apparently we all have genius capabilities and they are only accessed through doing what you love. It is a wonderful thing to do what you love in this lifetime that we all have, let's not spend it binge eating, let's resolve to spend every day stopping when full and we can do that by using the free 'Am I hungry?' download from my site trueslimness.co.uk. May permanent slimness be a reality for you now.
x Sofia
I now let being physically full be my guide as to when I stop eating.
As we move away from eating when full, smoking or any other addictions we naturally have a tendency to become more creative, and that seems to go hand in hand with being more intuitive. For your intuition will always lead you to increased creativity, and that is truly wonderful for what is created out of intuitive leanings and a joyful pull, are activities, projects and relationships that are fulfilling. We can move away from suppressing our feelings by eating when full to feeling our feelings and following our joyful feelings - they lead us to involve ourselves in activities that we enjoy and are naturally good at and will bless others for they are part and parcel of a joyful interconnectedness of gifts. It has been said that following what you love, involving yourself in what you love brings you into contact with your genius capabilities. Apparently we all have genius capabilities and they are only accessed through doing what you love. It is a wonderful thing to do what you love in this lifetime that we all have, let's not spend it binge eating, let's resolve to spend every day stopping when full and we can do that by using the free 'Am I hungry?' download from my site trueslimness.co.uk. May permanent slimness be a reality for you now.
x Sofia
Monday, 8 February 2010
Becoming a non-judgmental observer
Let yourself become the non-judgemental observer of your own compulsive cravings, and should you find yourself giving in to those cravings,(whether it is food when full or smoking) simply allow yourself to become the non-judgemental observer of your own compulsive activity, for believe it or not, this non-judgemental attitude actually helps us change the habits we wish to change within ourselves.
So this applies to eating when full or smoking or any other addiction and quite literally means - Don't beat yourself up about it. For it makes it even more difficult to refrain from eating when full or any addiction when you are busy berating yourself every time you make a mistake and slip into a bit of eating when full / addiction partaking. So learn to be easy on yourself, for a little bit of backsliding and mistake making is part and parcel of learning the art of altering and changing habits of behaviour.
So remind yourself often - I now allow myself to be the non-judgemental observer of my own compulsive tendencies - I now allow myself to be an non-judgemental observer of any eating when full that I might do as I continues to practice bringing in, the ability, to stop when full. Thus I empower myself to change in healthy ways.
Resolving the emotional issues that underlie all cravings is the only thing that is going to enable you to give up indulging in any addiction, and remember eating when full is at best a bad habit and at worst an addiction - an addiction to food when you are already physically full. And like all addictions it serves a purpose and that purpose is the suppression of emotions. The more we feel our feelings and find new ways, to deal with, our emotional stuff, the less cravings we get - So continuing asking - What feeling is this? any time you crave anything - food when full or a cigarette or a drink - And then, Given the fact I feel this way what would I like to do now? For this taps you into some ideas of how best to deal with that emotional stuff that was at the back of your cravings and tendency towards addiction.
It is possible to live an addiction free life. Give it a go. It is very interesting.
x Sofia
So this applies to eating when full or smoking or any other addiction and quite literally means - Don't beat yourself up about it. For it makes it even more difficult to refrain from eating when full or any addiction when you are busy berating yourself every time you make a mistake and slip into a bit of eating when full / addiction partaking. So learn to be easy on yourself, for a little bit of backsliding and mistake making is part and parcel of learning the art of altering and changing habits of behaviour.
So remind yourself often - I now allow myself to be the non-judgemental observer of my own compulsive tendencies - I now allow myself to be an non-judgemental observer of any eating when full that I might do as I continues to practice bringing in, the ability, to stop when full. Thus I empower myself to change in healthy ways.
Resolving the emotional issues that underlie all cravings is the only thing that is going to enable you to give up indulging in any addiction, and remember eating when full is at best a bad habit and at worst an addiction - an addiction to food when you are already physically full. And like all addictions it serves a purpose and that purpose is the suppression of emotions. The more we feel our feelings and find new ways, to deal with, our emotional stuff, the less cravings we get - So continuing asking - What feeling is this? any time you crave anything - food when full or a cigarette or a drink - And then, Given the fact I feel this way what would I like to do now? For this taps you into some ideas of how best to deal with that emotional stuff that was at the back of your cravings and tendency towards addiction.
It is possible to live an addiction free life. Give it a go. It is very interesting.
x Sofia
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