Sunday, 19 December 2010

What's the difference?

Food eaten out of genuine physical hunger, and food eaten when full out of a running away from a life we are not yet satisfied with - What's the difference and why is it important?
There are two types of enjoyment when it comes to eating. One is the enjoyment derived from food when full. Food when full is always eaten out of habit or addiction. There is always an underlying need to escape from our emotions with this kind of eating. 'I just love food.' Is what I often hear. And yet my reply is always. 'You can be slim and still love food. Your enjoyment of food, in fact increases by losing weight this way - the way of stopping when full.'
We often equate greater quantity with greater pleasure. But food eaten when full, we come to realise is not so comfortable after it has moved past the taste buds and is physically making its way towards that already full stomach. Stomach ache, being bloated and indigestion not to mention the inevitable excess weight are the unpleasant side effects of eating when full.
So, this Christmas season and throughout the new year, lets take our resolutions to a new dimension - awareness. Let us all be aware of when we are eating from genuine physical hunger, and let's notice how the quality of that enjoyment of the food, differs from the eating when full that is our old habit that we are even now shaking to its very core, and over 2011 replacing with the wonderfully healthy and pleasurable - I am hungry, I eat. I am full, I stop eating.
May a truly enjoyable relationship to food evolve for you now. If you wish to start you can download, for free, my - Am I hungry? - download sheets from www.trueslimness.co.uk or book a one to one telephone consultation on (01792) 799 617 cost £25 for 45 mins session that will embark you on the journey of true and lasting slimness through being, simply full.

Happy Holidays and a wonderful Christmas and New Year
See you 2011
Sofia

Sunday, 5 December 2010

Stress

When I worked in London one of the main reasons women gave me for overeating was stress, and coming up to to the 25th of December we all know that stress abounds.
I always see difficult times as an opportunity to be more aware.
'So how can being even more aware of how stressed I am help me?' you may ask. Well if you are aware, and acutely aware of your stress then you are not running away from it, you are no longer numb to it, you are no longer suppressing it. Being aware that you are feeling stressed also allows you to be aware that you may be likely to binge. Yes, that urge to eat when full may just be round the corner lurking in a Subway, or Costa Coffee shop after just, one-to-many, fellow shoppers bumped into you, or the sales assistant was so aloof or down right rude that it sent your stress levels to the 'I need a binge' state.
So yes, be aware, the potential to binge is ever present when we are compulsive eaters / overweight and this is what we are arming ourselves against with the 'Am I hungry' handout sheet which you can download free from www.trueslimness.co.uk
Let nothing be a reason for you to eat when full. This can be your goal now, for once followed, it can get you slim and keep you slim, Christmas, after Christmas, after Christmas.
xxx Sofia

Thursday, 2 September 2010

To be at peace with the weight you already are - the higher weight - is a necessary prerequisite to getting and staying slim.
Why?
Because being okay with the weight you are now (the higher weight) is a sign of total acceptance of yourself regardless. That means, you can say to yourself - I accept myself now regardless of what size and shape I am. I accept myself now regardless of the state of my finances. I accept myself now regardless of the state of my relationships or career.
In other words you don't have to wait until you are slim, healthy and financially prosperous before you accept yourself.
A lot of us got 'conditional' love all throughout our lives and grew up feeling we would be accepted, liked or praised (noticed even) if we we slimmer, prettier, smarter etc and the wounds of that could be at the root of our habit of 'eating when full.' So we are really bringing unconditional love into the equation here to help us change weight-gaining habits into slim-friendly habits.
So, even though the mainstream idea is - 'If I criticize myself it will help me change in positive ways,' - in fact the opposite is true. Self-criticism only serves to keep us stuck in a rut - the rut of eating when full. Self-criticism helps us feel lousy. Whereas self-acceptance helps us feel good about ourselves now and also helps us alter and change any habits we might wish to change, such as the habit of eating when full. So no longer condemn or criticize yourself for eating when full, rather accept that 'eating when ful' has simply been your learned way of dealing with emotional stuff and you are now, (with the help of the free download from trueslimness.co.uk - Am I hungry?), able to learn how to stop when full and resolve those emotional issues that can cause us to eat when physically full. Remember eating when full causes weight gain and stopping when full creates weight loss and natural permanent slimness. Self-acceptance creats a smooth road on which to travel as we alter and change the habits of a lifetime.
Sofia

Tuesday, 29 June 2010

Self-Acceptance

To accept myself completely means?
To ponder this question is interesting. What does it mean to me to accept myself completely? Does it mean I condone all those habits and actions that I feel are mistakes? Is it to overlook all the bad decisions I've made? Is it to say all those failures were perfectly okay? No, funnily enough, self-acceptance does not mean we condone actions that should never be condoned - self acceptance is not a condoning state of mind, it is an understanding, compassionate, and willing to change state of mind. Yes, most of all, self-acceptance is a willing to change state of mind. and isn't that what we are looking for when we are faced with the reality of habits such as overeating?
Eating when full, the binge, none of us are proud of this habit but accepting it means that we approach it with understanding and compassion and the ability to change. Acceptance is gentle and wise, and in that gentleness and wisdom self-acceptance gives us room to change, gives us the ability to change. Self-condemnation is harsh, lacking in real understanding, devoid of compassion leaving us debilitated when it comes to changing that habit.
Self-acceptance is a major part of giving up eating when full, and I have a full chapter on it in my book True Slimness available from www.trueslimness.co.uk
If you work at developing your self-acceptance now, you simply take it witnh you as you get slimmer as the direct result of eating when hungry and stopping when full.
Sofia

Sunday, 30 May 2010

Emotional stuff

How often do we associate slimness with a problem free life? But the truth of the matter is that being slim does not mean that our problems get resolved, or automatically disappear. Of this we must remind ourselves.
The good news is that resolving our problems, does mean that we can get slim. This is because, at the back of every binge, is an emotional dilemma, an unresolved problem - this is what drives us to eat when full. The argument with your spouse, the coldness of your relationship with your mother or sister, the buried anger of something that happened ten years ago - this is the sort of emotional stuff that is really driving us to overeat, so once we have a willingness to 'go there' into the unresolved emotional stuff and deal with it in a new way (a way that involves feeling the uncomfortable feelings associated with this problem) then we are half way home and firmly putting ourselves in the position to never overeat again.
The emotional stuff that used to drive me to overeat in the past, is resolved for me now - I have no craving to eat when full because of that emotional stuff anymore, it has lost its sting, I have dealt with it and asked myself - Given the fact I feel this way what would I like to do now?' Thus tapping into my intuitive guidance for answers and suggestions for action to take if any. In this way I have become and stayed for over twenty years and moved forward in my life. This is a big part of my teaching methods for True Slimness weight loss. For more info see - www.trueslimness.co.uk
May true and lasting slimness begin for you now!
Regards
Sofia

Saturday, 1 May 2010

Seasons changing / habits changing

What glorious summer sunshine we have been having lately! I am still amazed at Mother Nature's workings of gradual progression from one timeless season to another. What wonder is all around us.
I remember when I lived in central London, due to a lack of rolling hills (something I was used to growing up in rural Ireland) I rarely noticed the seasons change. Then I moved to a flat with an overgrown garden in West Hampstead, North London and that first spring, seeing the buds form on trees that had, only a few weeks previously, been covered in a layer of snow! And, the buds opened giving leaves and rustling greenery as the summer progressed. That was when I connected the metaphysical ideas that I was studying, to the tiny steps of growth that causes nature's transformation in the cycles of the seasons.
And we too transform our lives, our habits, our responses, our thoughts from negative to positive when we embark on any self-changing methods such as the True Slimness weight loss method I teach through my phone sessions and e-books which can be downloaded from http://www.trueslimness.co.uk
I have seen many positive changes in my own life and the change from compulsive eater to naturally slim woman who loves food and eats when hungry and stops when full, is by far the most wonderful altering and changing I have ever experienced in my life - I wish this transformation for all compulsive eaters and overweight people. So I invite you to embark on this journey with me through my e-books True Slimness Simply Full and Guidelines for Healing your Eating Habit.
Kind Regards
Sofia

Saturday, 17 April 2010

In control of our lives

Often, when we are compulsive eaters, we feel that food is the only area of our lives we have control over. The rest of our life may seem to be dictated by outside circumstance and we feel powerless to do anything to change any area of our life we wish to change.
Sometimes we might feel that if we could only be slimmer then everything else in our lives will fall into place. We feel that if we were slimmer, then my spouse would be more attentive, my parents would acknowledge me, or praise me, or listen to me. We often feel a lot is dependant upon getting slim. Maybe we have even become slim through dieting, only to find that those self same problems have not miraculously disappeared due to our new slimmer body size, and so we then binge and the weight is quickly regained.
This is one of the reasons weight is so often regained. If we do not make 'resolving our emotional stuff' one of the key elements, in our weight loss program, then the weight loss is destined to be short lived. This is why 'resolving emotional stuff' is foremost in our minds as we employ the True Slimness method of weight loss. 'Resolving our emotional stuff' is one of the major guidelines in this weight loss method, that does indeed, achieve, true, and lasting slimness.
So ask yourself 'What would I like to do in my life?' Think big. think unlimited. Ask yourself 'What would I do if I had an infinite amount of money, time and resources?' Daydream, and then write down a few ideas as to what could be the next step for you to take in that direction. Ignore the dismissive part of yourself that harps on at you 'No, no, no, it can't be done.' The truth is it can be done with self-effort, with believing it can be done, and doing what it takes to do it - 'It' being - that which you desire.
Now decide what you desire, start to listen to your heart-felt desires! Ask yourself 'How do I accomplish that which I desire?' rather than dismissing it as impossible.
You will be very surprised at the doors that open when you identify that which you really feel enthusiastic about, and go about following that joy. Even if it is just reading a book on the subject, speaking to an expert in that field of your interest, or attending a class on your much loved subject, or looking on the Internet about that field of interest. That is good enough to start you on a road of following your enthusiasm. Seek it, find it, follow it - your joy, your interests, your passion.
Believe it or not, it is all part and parcel, of achieving true and lasting slimness.
xSofia

Saturday, 3 April 2010

Crafting the life you wish for

I love this idea of self-acceptance being our starting point for altering or changing the self into something more in harmony with our ideas of who we would like to be.
It is like a sculptor creating a statue. He chips away the pieces he no longer wants in order to craft the statue, that is now, only in his mind's eye - his imagination. So ask yourself what is in your mind, as the ideas about who you would like to be?
Do you see the difference? I am not talking about a list of 'What I should be.' That would go like 'I should be slimmer. I should be richer. I should be a person with a great relationship.' No, this, that I am talking about here, is a lot more fun, than a list of heavy, boring, 'beat me up, I'm not good enough, 'shoulds.''Okay!
What I am talking about here, is a pondering, gentle, 'I'm working on crafting and moulding and sculpting myself and my life' type of attitude and endeavour. You see the difference. The difference is gentleness and quiet strength in the conviction that you are going to do this anyway. Regardless that you do not have the strength, regardless that you feel you do not have what it takes, because if you simply take it step by step, guess what, you do have what it takes because you have the power to take the first step just as surely as you can take your next breath.You have the power to take the next step in crafting, moulding and sculpting your life into that which you desire. Not in one fell swoop, although that could happen, but more likely, in many, many small steps. And the first step is accepting yourself just as you are now - a person who eats when full maybe some of the time, maybe all of the time. Also you are a person who is learning how to stop when full. You are probably a person who can stop when full some of the time and it is that all important 'some of the time' that is even now building into you being a person who stops when full all of the time. The result - a slim you.
So fill in that list of what you would like your life to be like health-wise, career-wise, relationship- wise, friendship-wise, hobby -wise, free time-wise and financially-wise. And daydream about it. As a friend of mine used to say 'There is no tax on dreaming.' Dream big and have fun. Be positive and deal with any negative thoughts or images that come up to disconcert you, by using the free 'Judge your Neighbour and One Belief at a time.' downloads from www.thework.com or www.byronkatie .com.
Hope you found this inspirational have a resurrection of wonder this Easter time and have now wonderful small steps in your life this Easter time and remember to always ask, whenever you think about food or eating ' Am I hungry?' 'Am I genuinely physically hungry?' and If you crave to eat when full ask, 'What feeling is this?' and then 'Given the fact I feel this way, what would I like to do now?' And get busy doing it!
All is well, take a small step today, be gentle and self-accepting of yourself any perceived faults, cut yourself some slack allow yourself to be imperfect and know you can mould, shape and sculpt yourself and your life into that which you desire in small steps.
'Am I hungry ? Am I hungry? Am I hungry' your new mantra when you want to eat, along with.'What feeling is this ?' when you crave food when full. These, the small steps that bring true and lasting slimness.
x Sofia

Thursday, 1 April 2010

Let's get clear about self-acceptance. It is not about simply resigning to how things are. It is not about staying the same. It is very much about change, change , change!
Self-acceptance, contrary to popular belief, actually facilitates change. Self-acceptance actually gives us our accurate starting point. It is simply saying - This is where I am, I am this weight and I have these eating habits I would like to change.
And here is the key - Self-acceptance says this without judgement. This lack of criticism about how things are, actively facilitates change. Beating yourself up, again, contrary to popular belief, does not help you change - it helps you feel miserable about yourself rather than understanding, and compassionate about yourself.
You are human, you picked up some bad eating habits that got ingrained and you were powerless to alter and change them - that is nothing to beat yourself up about - that is something to be understanding about, and simply work on in a new way.
Okay, so all the ways you have tried up till now have not helped you change those ingrained habits, that does not make you 'bad' it simply means you have not found a way that works yet. That is all. Remind yourself of this when you feel like giving out to yourself over a binge or your size and shape. And come back to the 'Am I Hungry?' download Free from www.trueslimness.co.uk and try again. Discover slimness is within your reach and self-acceptance, not self-criticism, helps you move forward with the task at hand - altering and changing your eating patterns from someone who 'eats when full' to someone who' stops when full' 100% of the time. I know you can do it - Freedom from compulsive eating awaits you.
Bye for now,
x Sofia

Saturday, 13 March 2010

Binge trigger feelings

I've come up with a new phrase that totally sums up our power point in overcoming compulsive eating and getting slim for good, and it is this - 'the binge trigger feeling'. Now this phrase 'binge trigger feeling' is key, because there is a 'binge trigger feeling' behind every craving to binge. The 'binge trigger feeling' can be different for every binge or you can repeatedly get the same 'binge trigger feeling' again and again until it is really resolved.
The 'binge trigger feeling' can literally send us to the biscuit tin, or the fridge when we are already full.
It is the uncomfortable feeling that can trigger a binge. So once we are aware of the 'binge trigger feelings' we can side-track the binge. It takes practice but can be done. It is changing a habit but can be done. This is not so much about will power as it is about understanding - understanding that every time, we do, even a little bit of eating when physically full, we are dealing with a feeling, a feeling we most likely would rather not feel, we consciously or subconsciously want to suppress it. And, eating when full, does this for us. Eating when full suppresses feelings. Once we understand this dynamic, we are half way home, all we need to do now, is catch ourselves, as it were, when we are feeling those 'binge trigger feelings', and we know it's a binge trigger feeling for we will be feeling the urge to eat when full.
And so, the key question to ask is 'What feeling is this?' when these feelings and the urge to binge arises.
'What feeling is this?' cuts through to the heart of the matter and takes our attention off the binge and on to the culprit of weight gain - the binge trigger feelings and then when we ask ourselves - 'Given the fact I feel this way what would I like to do now?' - we are well on the way to giving up the binges and bringing into our lives the alternative to the binge.
For more on this check out my two e-books which can be bought from Lulu
Guidelines for Healing Your Eating Habit by Sofia Bothwell Support independent publishing: Buy this e-book on Lulu.
And True Slimness Simply Full by Sofia Bothwell Support independent publishing: Buy this e-book on Lulu.

Sunday, 21 February 2010

How to be content regardless

We binge because of unmet needs and unresolved emotional issues.
We smoke because of unmet needs and unresolved emotional issues.
We partake in addiction because of unmet needs and unresolved emotional issues.
We overwork, overspend stay in abusive relationships, because of unmet needs and unresolved emotional issues.
We drink, gamble, watch stuff on TV that we are not really interested in because of unmet needs and unresolved emotional issues.
So we see, the 'eating when full', the smoking, the partaking in addiction is one problem, but there is also another problem - the unmet needs and the unresolved emotional issues. These are the root problems if you like, the real cause. In being able to deal with unmet needs we free ourselves from addiction. How do we deal with an unmet need? Well ask yourself, any time you pinpoint a need - such as the need for a lover, a car, freedom from domineering parents or spouse, a house, a career, more money , slimness etc. And ask 'How can I be happy even without this in my life? Yes Ask yourself - How can I feel good now, without partaking in my addiction? This is a good question to ask yourself and have fun playing around with the answers you get.
For the ultimate truth is we can be content even without the house, the car, the lover, the money, the career and also without addiction to buffer the uncomfortable emotions associated with not having the object of our desire. When we can find the key to happiness regardless, then we have the opportunity of an open door and a way forward will present itself to us. What we desire will show up more easily and we will be able to accept it more easily, for we are no longer coming from a needy place but from a place of fullness.
There is always something we need, and to learn how to be content, happy and okay in the space we are now, before that which we need shows up, is an art in life, in fact it is the art of happiness, positive manifestation and deeply meaningful and authentic living. Not always easy, but what the hey.
x Sofia

Sunday, 14 February 2010

Stopping when pysically full and creativity

I now let being physically hungry be my guide as to when I eat.
I now let being physically full be my guide as to when I stop eating.
As we move away from eating when full, smoking or any other addictions we naturally have a tendency to become more creative, and that seems to go hand in hand with being more intuitive. For your intuition will always lead you to increased creativity, and that is truly wonderful for what is created out of intuitive leanings and a joyful pull, are activities, projects and relationships that are fulfilling. We can move away from suppressing our feelings by eating when full to feeling our feelings and following our joyful feelings - they lead us to involve ourselves in activities that we enjoy and are naturally good at and will bless others for they are part and parcel of a joyful interconnectedness of gifts. It has been said that following what you love, involving yourself in what you love brings you into contact with your genius capabilities. Apparently we all have genius capabilities and they are only accessed through doing what you love. It is a wonderful thing to do what you love in this lifetime that we all have, let's not spend it binge eating, let's resolve to spend every day stopping when full and we can do that by using the free 'Am I hungry?' download from my site trueslimness.co.uk. May permanent slimness be a reality for you now.
x Sofia

Monday, 8 February 2010

Becoming a non-judgmental observer

Let yourself become the non-judgemental observer of your own compulsive cravings, and should you find yourself giving in to those cravings,(whether it is food when full or smoking) simply allow yourself to become the non-judgemental observer of your own compulsive activity, for believe it or not, this non-judgemental attitude actually helps us change the habits we wish to change within ourselves.
So this applies to eating when full or smoking or any other addiction and quite literally means - Don't beat yourself up about it. For it makes it even more difficult to refrain from eating when full or any addiction when you are busy berating yourself every time you make a mistake and slip into a bit of eating when full / addiction partaking. So learn to be easy on yourself, for a little bit of backsliding and mistake making is part and parcel of learning the art of altering and changing habits of behaviour.
So remind yourself often - I now allow myself to be the non-judgemental observer of my own compulsive tendencies - I now allow myself to be an non-judgemental observer of any eating when full that I might do as I continues to practice bringing in, the ability, to stop when full. Thus I empower myself to change in healthy ways.
Resolving the emotional issues that underlie all cravings is the only thing that is going to enable you to give up indulging in any addiction, and remember eating when full is at best a bad habit and at worst an addiction - an addiction to food when you are already physically full. And like all addictions it serves a purpose and that purpose is the suppression of emotions. The more we feel our feelings and find new ways, to deal with, our emotional stuff, the less cravings we get - So continuing asking - What feeling is this? any time you crave anything - food when full or a cigarette or a drink - And then, Given the fact I feel this way what would I like to do now? For this taps you into some ideas of how best to deal with that emotional stuff that was at the back of your cravings and tendency towards addiction.
It is possible to live an addiction free life. Give it a go. It is very interesting.
x Sofia

Saturday, 6 February 2010

I've been pottering in my conservatory today. Picking off old leaves, taking a cutting from my geranium and generally taking in the look of the various plants while attempting to see to their needs in my gardening efforts. Several things struck me as I pottered that were a direct parallel to the truths, of losing weight through stopping when full and resolving emotional issues. (1) How it is important to be gentle and loving as you progress. (2) Cutting back leads to new growth. (3) The seed grows in the dark trusting that all the light, water, and nourishment it needs, will be there.
So, as you continue with the 'Am I hungry?' free download from my site remember (1) Be gentle and loving with yourself. (2) Pruning away the old habit of 'eating when full' leads to the growth or emergence of the slim you. And (3) Trust that when you crave to eat when full, and ask 'What feeling is this?'and then 'Given the fact I feel this way what would I like to do now?' that you will indeed, find the answer, that is easy to follow and is your alternative to 'the binge'.
x Sofia

Tuesday, 2 February 2010

Eating when full is food addiction

I have often mentioned in my support groups and one to one sessions that eating when physically full is an addiction, and that addiction is a means of coping with a life that you are not yet satisfied with. So maybe take a moment today and over the next week or so, to write down your areas of life that you are not yet satisfied with - keep it brief there is no great benefit in dwelling on your problems but rather as soon as you have acknowledged that area that is in need of evolving so to speak then immediately focus on the possible solutions and start to daydream about a wonderful solution for yourself - Yes imagine what you want in this area of your life. This, as many of you probably already know, is creative visualisation. So visualise yourself slim and healthy in satisfying work, see yourself prosperous and with an abundance of friends. This is simply one part in the many-pieced-puzzle that will get you slim for good.
x Sofia

Thursday, 28 January 2010

Why not to panic if there is weight gain

It is easy to panic if there is some weight gain as you practice eating when physically hungry and stopping when full, but being okay with a little temporary weight gain is really what helps us on our journey towards natural and permanent slimness – true slimness.

You see, you are still grappling with your eating pattern of eating when full when there is any weight gain. Weight gain is always because some eating when full has been going on, and temporary weight gain is not that unusual and quite understandable, until we get into, eating when hungry and stopping when full 100% of the time.

So relax and let your focus shift from worry to being aware.

Let your focus shift from worry about any extra kilos to awareness of when you are physically full and stopping at that point.

Let your focus shift from panic about weight gain to understanding about weight gain and eliminating that which causes it – the eating when physically full.

Let your focus shift from anxiety over weight gain to awareness of the emotions that drive you to eat when full and focus on resolving those emotions through asking yourself, our habit breaking question: 'Given the fact I feel this way what would I like to do now?’ and following up on the answer.

If you think about it, you cannot easily change ingrained habits or compulsive behaviour overnight, so feel those fears but know that any weight gain, that happens as you practice eating when hungry and stopping when full, is temporary, and automatically reabsorbed as soon as you get into the slim achieving habit of stopping when physically full. So, the way forward here, is to persist with the ‘Am I Hungry?’ free download from my site and feel free to add your comments below. We can get a nice little free, on line, weight loss class going here and I’ll be happy to add my comments to help you all along.

Best wishes, Sofia